“Burnout” is a term being used more and more as we navigate ever-changing times with an increasing amount of stress and responsibilities. Although the term has traditionally been used in work-related contexts, there is mounting research diving into how caregiving and parenting roles can also breed feelings of burnout. The International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health (2021) defines burnout as “emotional exhaustion, depersonalization and a decrease in self-fulfillment” as a result of chronic exposure to emotionally draining environments. Let’s break down what parenting burnout entails and what you might need to overcome it.
Defining Burnout
Exhaustion. Parents experiencing burnout might feel like the gas tank is empty no matter how much sleep they get. They might experience emotional and/or physical exhaustion, changes in sleep patterns, get sick more often, or stay up too late to carve out alone time after kids go to bed. This becomes cyclical, leading to other issues like difficulty managing irritability, or having trouble remembering things or concentrating on tasks. Feelings of resentment in the parenting role towards kids or partners are also common (Cleveland Clinic, 2023).
Detachment/Depersonalization. Parents may feel like they are on autopilot or “going through the motions.” They don’t experience the same pleasure or interest in day-to-do tasks or interactions as they did before. This may lead to feeling disconnected from yourself and your children. You might have feelings of shame or guilt which can cause further isolation and avoidance (Cleveland Clinic, 2023).
Inefficiency. Parents who are burned out may feel inadequate or ineffective in their parenting role. They might endorse helplessness or hopelessness about their circumstances. Perfectionism and high expectations may cause parents to question whether they are good enough or doing enough for their kids. This may lead to negative feelings and thoughts about yourself and the world around you (Cleveland Clinic 2023).
Risk Factors for Parental Burnout
It is important to acknowledge that burnout can happen to anyone, but can be particularly prevalent if certain risk factors are also present. These factors may include:
- Employment status: A higher-stress job may take up more time and energy leading to further exhaustion at home.
- Finances: Limited financial resources may hinder access to support like childcare or further put pressure on parents to adequately provide for the needs of the family.
- The parent’s age, the age of their children, and the number of children they have: Children may have different needs physically, cognitively, and behaviorally which may require more attention or resources from parents.
Potential Causes of Burnout in Parents
Here are common themes I encounter in my work with parents who feel depleted and burned out:
- Role confusion: Parents may find it difficult to separate themselves as an individual from their role as a parent, which contributes to lack of personal fulfillment. Parents may still be figuring out how to parent and learning as they go and this can lead to feelings of inadequacy.
- Lack of control: Life happens, and parents may struggle with adaptability when things do not go the way they planned. Rigidity in expectations or perfectionist-thinking can lead to feelings of frustration and anxiety.
- Too many responsibilities: Parents may feel overwhelmed with the amount they have to keep track of and may feel it is their sole responsibility to handle it all
- Insufficient boundaries: Parents may struggle to ask for help or may find it hard to delegate tasks to their partners or children, thinking it is easier if they do it all themselves.
Ways to Address Parental Burnout
1. Talk it out
Sharing your thoughts and feelings related to the stress of parenting will help you feel validated and normal in your experience. Burnout makes people feel isolated. Talking it out with loved ones or a professional not only fosters connection, but also cuts off the oxygen supply to guilt and shame. Call a friend, attend a parenting support group, or contact a therapist!
2. Change your perspective
Take the word “should” out of your vocabulary. Work on reducing critical self-talk and perfectionist-thinking. Utilizing skills from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, a therapist can assist you in identifying and reframing unhelpful thoughts that contribute to burnout. Begin incorporating more flexibility in your thinking, adopting mantras like “this too shall pass” or “just this one moment in time.” It can be helpful to remember that things are constantly changing and what we are thinking or feeling now is not permanent (American Psychological Association, 2024).
3. Take breaks
These can be as small as one-minute microbreaks where you set a timer to take some deep breaths in the bathroom or an hour-long yoga class on the weekends. The important thing is you are clearing your mind and focusing on taking time to re-charge. Sing along to a song in the car, take deep belly breaths while grocery shopping, or stand up and stretch in between work meetings (American Psychological Association, 2024).
4. Make time for self-care
Do a daily check-in with yourself and ask, have I nourished my body today with food and water? Have I moved my body or gotten fresh air? Have I gotten enough sleep? Incorporate these questions to ensure you are paying attention to the mind/body/spirit and fill your cup where needed.
5. Establish boundaries & structure
Discuss role responsibilities in your household with partners and children. Grow your parenting skills through reading books, taking parenting classes, or learning skills from a therapist. Establish a division of labor that works for you through discussing who takes on the load of finances, chores, decision-making, and so on (NPR, 2025).
6. Practice self-compassion & self-love
How would you talk to a friend who is experiencing the same struggles as you? I bet you would respond in a kind and understanding way. Try focusing that inward through a Loving Kindness Meditation or keeping a gratitude journal. Perhaps you could make a list of your strengths as a parent and the things you are doing well to keep as a reminder for tougher days (Kabat-Zinn, 2023).
7. Find meaning
Explore and reconnect with your values to feel more fulfilled and purposeful in your daily life. Approach this with curiosity and try to tap into creativity. This might mean taking time outside of your parenting role to reconnect with hobbies or relationships that are meaningful to you as an individual. You can then rejoin the family rested and restored and even invite your family to join in on those meaningful activities too!
Asking for Help
You don’t have to go through this alone! Individual and couples counseling provides a nonjudgmental space to explore communication, boundaries, role responsibilities, and parenting styles. It can also be helpful in learning skills for managing emotions, stress, and improving self-esteem and self-care habits.
Here are is a sampling of relevant questions to prompt conversations with a mental health care professional:
- How do I minimize stress?
- How can I better manage my emotions and expectations?
- Is there a way to reduce the amount of guilt I feel when I take care of myself?
- Can you recommend community resources or organizations for managing parental stress?
- What are strategies for self-care I can try?
- How can I incorporate self-compassion into my daily life?
If you would like to learn more about how psychotherapy can help you navigate the challenges related to your parenting role or other aspects of your mental health, reach out to Wildflower’s intake team here. We look forward to hearing from you.
References
Abramson, A. (2021). “The impact of parental burnout”. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2021/10/cover-parental-burnout
American Psychological Association. (2024). “Parental burnout and stress”. https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/parental-burnout
Cleveland Clinic. (2023). “Caregiver Burnout”. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9225-caregiver-burnout
Kabat-Zinn, J. (2023). “This Loving-Kindness Meditation is a Radical Act of Love”. Mindful. https://www.mindful.org/this-loving-kindness-meditation-is-a-radical-act-of-love/
Rionda, I. S., et al. (2021). “The Role of Burnout in the Association between Work-Related Factors and Perceived Errors in Clinical Practice among Spanish Residents.” International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, Vol. 18, No. 9. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34066327/
Tagle, A. & Gharib, M. (2025). “Parents, are you worried about burnout? Here are 3 red flags to watch out for”. NPR. https://www.npr.org/2025/02/14/nx-s1-5262897/parents-solutions-anxiety-stress-burnout
