On Father’s Day we celebrate dads with humorous cards, gifts, and family gatherings. But beneath the lighthearted celebration sits something rarely named out loud: many fathers experience real, diagnosable mental health struggles during pregnancy and the first year of parenthood, and those struggles are widely overlooked. Most public attention around perinatal mental health has focused on mothers, for good reason, but the data make clear that fathers deserve far more than a single day of recognition.
Dads Can Struggle with Mental Health, Too
Consider this statistic: roughly 1 in 10 fathers will experience depression or anxiety during their partner’s pregnancy or in the first year after a baby arrives. According to the Maternal Mental Health Leadership Alliance’s (MMHLA) paternal mental health fact sheet, the risk of depression and anxiety is rises dramatically for expecting and new fathers. Decades of public health infrastructure have been built around maternal postpartum depression, and rightly so. At the same time, the partner standing alongside her, holding the diaper bag and the worry in equal measure, is often struggling too, with almost no system in place to ask him about it.
Notably, while maternal depression tends to peak in the early weeks postpartum, the peak onset of depression in fathers is typically 3 to 6 months after the baby is born. That timing matters enormously, because it’s exactly when the ready-made dinners have stopped arriving, parental leave (if there was any) has ended, and most people around the family might no longer be checking in. The spotlight has moved on just as a father’s risk is climbing.
Silent Challenges
Part of why fathers’ struggles go unnoticed is that depression in men frequently doesn’t show up with symptoms people are most familiar with such as lack of energy, low mood, and tearfulness. Men experiencing anxiety or depression are more likely than women to describe physical symptoms: appetite changes, fatigue, headaches, a racing heart, rather than naming sadness directly. They’re also more likely to show irritability, anger, and frustration, which can be mistaken for a “bad mood” or generic stress. This can push fathers toward isolating, withdrawing, or turning to substances rather than seeking help.
Fathers experiencing depression or anxiety have described feeling invisible, unnecessary, forgotten, and trapped. Their experiences don’t fit the cultural script of a man who’s supposed to be steady, capable, and just fine. The stigma runs so deep that many fathers report feeling unable to admit they need help without feeling they’ve failed to be the “tough guy” they believe they’re supposed to be.
Treatment is Essential (and Effective!)
Untreated paternal depression has real, documented consequences for the entire family: dad, his partner, and the child. Maternal depression is actually the single most important risk factor for paternal depression, meaning these two struggles often travel together in a household and compound each other. And when a father’s depression goes untreated, research links it to increased hostility and conflict in the home, more negative or harsh parenting, and decreased warmth, playfulness, and positive engagement with the baby. It can also mean less consistent follow-through on basic safety practices, like safe sleep and car seat guidelines. None of this reflects a father failing at his role. It reflects what depression and anxiety reliably do: pull a person away from connection precisely when connection matters most.
The encouraging news is that these mental health challenges are treatable, and treatment doesn’t necessarily require dramatic interventions. Some things that help include adequate sleep, movement, and nutrition; practical and emotional support from a partner or community; education about what’s actually normal during this period; therapy; and, when appropriate, medication.
Let’s Celebrate Dads With a Focus on How They Are Actually Doing
This Father’s Day, alongside the celebration, I encourage you to check in with the fathers in your life to ask how they are actually doing. Ask twice if the first answer is “I’m fine.” Fittingly, International Father’s Mental Health Day falls the day after Father’s Day each year. This is a small but deliberate reminder that the conversation about fathers’ wellbeing shouldn’t end when the holiday does. Fathers are not simply support staff for their partner’s postpartum journey. They are navigating a significant transition of their own, and deserve the same attention, screening, and care that has finally begun reaching mothers.
If you’re a father struggling with anxiety, depression, or feeling overwhelmed during pregnancy or after a baby’s arrival, you’re not alone. Treatment is available. A good therapist trained in perinatal mental health can help you find your footing again. Reach out to us for a free consultation.
