I came across a TikTok video of a young Black girl with big, beautiful natural hair experiencing her first blowout and silk press. During the flat ironing process, she began to cry, overwhelmed by the sensation of heat. The stylist responded with care and compassion, gently wiping away her tears and adjusting her pace to ensure the little girl felt comfortable. As the process continued, the girl apologized for her tears in the sweetest and most polite manner, showing remarkable resilience.
Hair holds immense significance within the Black community. It’s more than just an aesthetic choice—it can shape how the world perceives us. Hair can influence judgments about professionalism, approachability, perceived threat, and even cleanliness. Within the Black community, hair often carries social meaning, affecting perceptions of who is “Black enough,” who fits into cultural norms, and who might feel excluded. Historically, Black hair has told stories through intricate patterns and designs, symbolizing identity, resilience, and freedom. Our hair is, quite literally, our crown.
Yet, when a Black person struggles with the discomfort of hairstyling—unable to endure the tension, tightness, or heat—they are often labeled “tender-headed.” This term frequently carries a dismissive tone, shaming those with sensitivities as weak or difficult. People of many ages are often unaware that what’s perceived as tender-headedness could be rooted in neurodivergence or sensory sensitivities. This moment also serves as a broader call to action: to recognize and respect the diverse sensory needs within our community and to ensure that every Black person, regardless of their sensitivities, can wear their crown with comfort and pride.
Neurodivergence in the Black community is frequently overlooked, as diagnostic criteria have not historically centered Black experiences. “Searching for literature that… shares the stories of disabled Black people often feels like a needle in a haystack… Imperialism and colonialism have shaped the perception of society to define ideas of normalcy” (Kwaw-Mensah, 2024, p. 23-24). Sensory processing issues, often mistaken for common discomfort, can go unrecognized and unaddressed, leaving many without the understanding or support they need. Invisible disabilities are often overlooked, especially within Black communities, where the impact can be even more significant given the historical context.
Watching videos like the one of this young girl reminds us of the importance of empathy and care when navigating these experiences. It highlights the need for environments that are sensitive and accessible to every person’s needs. In the therapeutic space, neurodiversity affirmation means being trauma-informed to ensure clients feel safe and comfortable. This might include asking about the client’s comfort with bright fluorescent lights compared to softer ambient lighting. Taking a moment to highlight office features, such as water fountains, tissues, soft pillows, or fidget toys, can empower clients to have the agency to self-soothe as needed. Sensory-based interventions can offer an alternative to verbal communication. Creating spaces that honor these differences, whether in hairstyling or therapy, is essential for building a more inclusive and affirming future.
References
Darneshia [@ayooonesh]. (2023, July 30). POV: Silk press on a 9 yr old with long & thick 4C hair [Video]. TikTok. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8Je5v8L/
Kwaw-Mensah, L. (2024). Black autistic experience: existence in a society that seeks to erase us (Doctoral dissertation).
