Lately, I’ve been sitting with this question. As therapists, we urge our clients—and let’s be honest, ourselves—to “practice self-care.” We say it with the best of intentions. We want everyone to feel grounded, stable, and resourced. And all of that is well and good—important, even! But recently, the phrase has started to sound… hollow. Overused. Like a band-aid on a deeper wound.
Because how are we supposed to sip tea, run a bubble bath, or meditate when the world feels like it’s unraveling? If you’ve consumed even an ounce of news in the past few months, you’re likely aware of the crises we’re facing—climate disasters, war, genocide, rising fascism, attacks on reproductive rights. The list, unfortunately, goes on. Maybe these crises don’t touch each of us directly, but they exist in the air we breathe, the tension we carry in our bodies, the worry that hums in the background. And in the midst of all this chaos and uncertainty, we’re told to keep moving forward, business as usual.
Haven’t we kind of earned the right to lose it a little?
My answer: yes. Anxiety, grief, rage, revulsion, fear—these are all appropriate responses to the immense dysregulation surrounding us. So maybe the question isn’t how to make those feelings disappear through exercise or reading (no shade to joggers or book lovers). Instead, maybe the question is: what do we do with them?
Making Meaning
I’ve had more conversations with clients, colleagues, and loved ones about how difficult it is to find meaning in daily life. Many feel stuck, trying—and failing—to tackle all the world’s problems at once. Motivation turns to paralysis in the face of relentless injustice. But meaning isn’t found in single-handedly fixing everything or staying hyper-informed on global events. It’s found in the seemingly small but intentional ways we engage with the world around us. It’s in offering our skills, time, privileges, and attention to the causes that resonate most deeply. By aligning our values with our actions, we foster connection and create meaningful change—not just for others, but for ourselves too.
Maybe meaning looks like supporting vulnerable or marginalized people in your community, donating when you’re able, or volunteering your time or skills. Maybe it’s in the conversations you have, the art you create, the way you show up for your people. When we shift our focus from trying to solve everything to seeking community and connection in small ways, we reclaim a sense of agency and momentum—something current political leaders are working very hard to take from us.
Self-Care as Community Care
The discourse on self-care has shifted far from its original purpose, often co-opted by capitalism to sell us products under the guise of well-being. The term now carries commercialist connotations that uphold the very systems that exhaust us. But self-care wasn’t meant to be a marketable commodity—it was, and remains, a radical act.
Civil rights activist and writer Audre Lorde spoke powerfully about self-care as an act of resistance. As a Black lesbian woman born in the 1930s, Lorde was deeply familiar with the exhaustion and burnout that come from decades of intersectional discrimination. Toward the end of her life, in her collection of essays A Burst of Light, she wrote:
“Overextending myself is not stretching myself. I had to accept how difficult it is to monitor the difference. Necessary for me as cutting down on sugar. Crucial. Physically. Psychically. Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
I’ve started to reframe self-care as community care. Preserving my own reservoir of hope, compassion, and energy makes me more capable of supporting causes that matter without depleting myself. True self-care isn’t just about tending to our individual needs; it’s about sustaining ourselves so we can show up for each other.
Talk to Someone
We need human connection now more than ever. Obviously, I’m going to encourage reaching out to a therapist—but even if it’s a friend, family member, or someone in your community, talk to each other. We cannot “self-care” in isolation. Radical self-care is resistance, and resistance is built on relationships.
Take care of yourself—and each other.
If you are interested in learning about how therapy at Wildflower could help, please do not hesitate to reach out to our intake team to discuss further. With expert support and a deeply personal touch, we are committed to nurturing your growth and well-being. Ready to bloom? We are looking forward to hearing from you.
