Infertility can bring profound grief, depression, anxiety, and isolation – and can impact nearly all realms of someone’s life. Even well-meaning friends and family often don’t know what to say or how to support someone going through this. As a perinatal psychotherapist, I’ve heard both sides of this – people who feel unsupported by their loved ones, and others who genuinely want to show up, but don’t know how. Supporting someone through an experience you haven’t experienced yourself can feel daunting. In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week 2026 (April 19th-25th), I’m here to share ten examples of supportive things to say to your friend or loved one going through infertility.
- “I’m so sorry you’re going through this.” This simple response demonstrates acknowledgement of how hard infertility is, and doesn’t attempt to “fix” the hard feelings associated with it.
- “This feels hard because it is hard.” Many people going through infertility feel dismissed or unseen for their pain, this response validates the pain associated with infertility. People going through infertility have been shown to have similar rates of depression and anxiety as those going through chemotherapy, yet their pain often goes unrecognized.
- “I’m here when you’re ready to share.” Often there is a perceived pressure to avoid sharing about hard things, to avoid being a burden. This statement lets your loved one know that you’re open to sitting with them through the hard feelings, on their timeline.
- “It’s okay to not be okay.” Sharing something like this can help normalize someone’s response to infertility, versus feeling as though they have to hold it together and power through. It makes space for grief, anxiety, and depression.
- “What’s the hardest part of all of this?” This question opens the door for your loved one to share more- and to be able to name the toughest pieces for them, honoring their individual experience.
- “Would it feel helpful for me to keep asking about this?” People going through infertility have differing needs around how often they’d like their support people to check in with them. This is a way to help your loved one feel empowered to share what they need.
- “What feels best for tonight? We could stay in or go out?” Offering options for time spent together honors the person going through infertility’s needs, which often change day to day or hour to hour. This question also helps normalize that their needs might look different during infertility than they did prior.
- “I imagine it feels really hard to feel left behind.” This is one of the commonly painful parts of infertility, feeling as though everyone in their orbit moves forward in their family building and they stay stuck. Naming this and seeing it for your loved one can be powerful.
- “I won’t offer advice unless you ask for it.” Often, people going through infertility are regularly given unsolicited advice (ie “just relax, and it will happen”), this response is the opposite- sharing that you’re a safe space that won’t attempt to provide unsolicited or unwanted advice.
- “If I ever have pregnancy news to share, how would you like me to share that news?” Asking this gives your loved one a sense of agency and emotional safety. It can help them feel less guarded in your relationship with you, knowing you’ll be thoughtful and considerate in how you share something that may be tender for them to receive.
We at Wildflower know it can feel so complicated to navigate how to best support a loved one going through infertility. The fact that you’ve read this far speaks volumes about your empathy, compassion, and desire to support your friend or loved one.
Resources for further learning:
National Infertility Awareness Week 2026– an annual week of advocacy, education, stigma reduction, and supporting those going through infertility.
RESOLVE – The National Infertility Association (often just called “RESOLVE”) is a U.S.-based nonprofit organization that supports people experiencing infertility or navigating different paths to building a family by providing resources, support, and information for those navigating infertility.
National Infertility Awareness Week: Compassion, Education, and Advocacy– This article provides a compilation of articles from the Wildflower Blog related to infertility and supporting someone going through infertility.
How to Help Friends and Family Through Infertility: How You Can Offer Support, What To Say, and Understanding Infertility– by Alexandra Kornsweit. A book written to help guide people in supporting their loved ones going through infertility.
Male Infertility: The Emotional Impact and What You Can Do About It– This article discusses the plight of men going through infertility, and the unique challenges associated.
Coping with Infertility: A Resource Guide – In this free guide, we have compiled a list of valuable resources to help you find community and equip you to care for yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally as you navigate infertility.
10 Things You Need To Know About Infertility During Infertility Awareness Week– This article aims to arm readers with knowledge about some of the basic facts surrounding infertility.
